WORST FILMS OF 2022 |
11 February 2023
This article is a look at the worst films of 2022.
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I saw 380 films in 2022. So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2022 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite movies of 2022, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
Part one of my review of 2022 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite movies of 2022, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
THE TOP 14 WORST FILMS OF 2022
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14. AMBULANCE
The look is bizarrely off kilter, not in a whoozy experimental way, but annoyingly. The plotting and thriller mechanics are hyperactive and dragged out. |
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13. THE BATMAN
I can't believe I'm going to write this: No more Batman movies please. No more Spider-Man movies. Enough already. What a disappointment from the director of DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES and CLOVERFIELD! The actors are dragged down by the leaden dialogue and convoluted storytelling. Normally competent thesps are adrift. The Riddler's clues and the dramatis personae responses are shockingly bad. The welcome political commentary needed expansion; contrast the blockbuster sophistication of WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES. The look is so murky as to make the movie unwatchable. THE DARK KNIGHT has proven to be the definitive take. |
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12. NIGHTMARE
A generic title for a dull movie. An inept Norwegian horror flick about the trepidation of becoming a parent. Poorly thought through and lazy. Immediate genre warning klaxon for the protagonists: Don't buy an apartment where someone's recent death brought down the value. |
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11. TOP GUN: MAVERICK
A waste of resources. What is this even about? Should be called Top Gun: Call-Back, just an excuse for nostalgia. Tom Cruise doesn’t seem to act much anymore, just earnestly doing stuff. There are though lump-in-the-throat moments between Maverick and Goose’s son, “Rooster” (I kid you not, that’s his call sign). The underdog, time-sensitive plot against an unnamed, faceless antagonist is half-baked. |
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10. MORBIUS
Even by the dispiriting creative bar set by most superhero movies, this is dross. Lacking excitement and emotionality, it ends up being so bad it’s funny. At least it’s not boring. |
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9. UNCHARTED
An action-adventure so unexciting, it makes the NATIONAL TREASURE flicks look like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. The clues to the prize are witless, and the booby traps are uninspired. Along with CHAOS WALKING, this feels like another Tom Holland-Peter Parker performance - the characters are likeable but unsurprising. Watch THE GOONIES instead. |
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8. JURASSIC PARK DOMINION
Just dire. Virtually devoid of interesting ideas. Inept story and character work. Chris Pratt is wooden when not in comedy mode. |
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7. MOONFALL
Even by his poor standards, this disaster movie from director Roland Emmerich is nonsense. |
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6. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Touches on a topic (the Confederate flag, social media, school shootings) and does nothing with them. A terrible horror sequel. |
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5. FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE
It all feels padded and random. The magical combat is nonsense, and would be laughable if not so inane. This franchise needs to be put out of its misery. Only Toni Erdmann (Peter Simonischek) briefly turning up raises a chortle, which has nothing to do with this film. |
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4. SPIDERHEAD
A film about a pharmaceutical company exploiting prisoners could’ve been a gripping socio-political thriller. Instead, the plotting and roles are wafer-thin. |
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3. LINOLEUM
A twee, sentimental, rubbish DONNIE DARKO / PREDESTINATION. |
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2. BIGBUG
I can’t believe this is from the director of AMELIE and A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT! A deeply unfunny, silly sci-fi supposed comedy. |
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1. ENYS MEN
The only thing that might strike fear into your guts here is this movie's genre: Experimental folk horror. A repetitive, soul-sapping experience. Nearly running out of tea is as dramatic and tense as the story mostly gets. A disappointing follow-up to the director's previous, BAIT. |
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(By the way, some movies are so bad I turned them off within 30 minutes, e.g. DRIFTING HOME, FLAG DAY, RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL: THE WILD WORLD OF JOHN MCAFEE, STUDIO 666, THE 355, THE MAN FROM TORONTO.)
Okay, take a breather.
Phew! Got that out of my system. On to…
Part two, my favourite films of 2022. Click here.
Part three, my awards for the best films of 2022. Click here.