How entertaining? ★☆☆☆☆
Thought provoking? ★☆☆☆☆ 14 June 2012
This article is a review of FAST GIRLS. |
“You don’t win sliver, it’s a consolation for losing,” Lisa.
“I’m not very good with teams though,” Shania.
“I didn’t come here to make friends,” Lisa.
Wow, what lumpen, perfunctory dialogue. FAST GIRLS joins BATTLESHIP as one of the worst movies of the year. Attempting to capitalise on Olympic fever, this takes all those sports movie clichés, overcoming adversity clichés, female friendship clichés, romance clichés, and combines them to make a mind-numbing soul-destroying experience. Why does Noel Clarke think he can write women’s roles? Have you seen the Tamsin Egerton segment in his 4.3.2.1? Clarke gives himself these obnoxious, bland parts – is that a selfless ego, or an inability to really see his characters? (That last question is rhetorical.)
“I’m not very good with teams though,” Shania.
“I didn’t come here to make friends,” Lisa.
Wow, what lumpen, perfunctory dialogue. FAST GIRLS joins BATTLESHIP as one of the worst movies of the year. Attempting to capitalise on Olympic fever, this takes all those sports movie clichés, overcoming adversity clichés, female friendship clichés, romance clichés, and combines them to make a mind-numbing soul-destroying experience. Why does Noel Clarke think he can write women’s roles? Have you seen the Tamsin Egerton segment in his 4.3.2.1? Clarke gives himself these obnoxious, bland parts – is that a selfless ego, or an inability to really see his characters? (That last question is rhetorical.)
Amazon UK
|
Amazon USA
|
FAST GIRLS so wants to be charming, feminist, romantic and uplifting in the vein of the wonderful BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM; so much so it feels like a daytime television homage. Two young women from different ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds dream of winning gold in the 200m athletics. Shania lives with her aunt and is trained by a local shopkeeper. Lisa is middle class with a pushy father involved in the British team’s squad. Lisa dislikes Shania because the latter beat her in a race. They are also rivals off the track for the affections of the physiotherapist, the ultra wooden Carl. When Carl tells Shania she has “strong glutes”, I wrote ‘f*ck off’ in my notes. We’re in cardboard cut-out characterisation territory. The signposts for the conclusion of the film are writ large from the first 20 minutes. The hurdles put in front of them (see what I’ve done there? I’ll get my coat) are devoid of character logic, drama and intrigue. Attitudes are changed on a dime, without any real persuasion. Just one scene in the whole film didn’t feel either false or drab, where the four ladies in the relay team take on some less-than-gentlemanly lads in a club.
How do you make running round an oval interesting? The filmmakers here don’t know. We’re not in CHARIOTS OF FIRE Oscar-baiting mode. FAST GIRLS wants to be about issues, but is so saccharine you might get diabetes. If you decide to brave, bring an insulin shot.
We have selected movies below that we think will be of interest to you based on this review.
Using these Amazon affiliated links help us keep Filmaluation free for all film and arts lovers.
Amazon UK
|
|
|
|
Amazon USA
|
|
|
|