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How entertaining? ★★☆☆☆
Thought provoking? ★☆☆☆☆ 10 February 2014
This article is a review of CUBAN FURY. |
“It’s like a butterfly going out with a parsnip,” Bruce (Nick Frost) to Gary (Rory Kinnear)
Did Nick Frost have a bet with Simon Pegg to see if he could make a comedy more woeful than RUN FATBOY RUN? If so, the jury is out on the winner. Double disappointment comes from a classy cast squandered, coupled with lead Frost off form (contrast his turns in the underrated PAUL and sci-fi spoof sitcom HYPERDRIVE).
Amateur salsa champion Bruce Garrett (Frost) ends his youth career, after a bullying incident involving a gang of scallywags force-feeding him the sequins from his sparkly shirt. Twenty-five years on, Bruce has gone to seed. Working as a designer of heavy industrialised machinery – “I love lathes” - his life has become a catalogue of humiliations. Colleague Drew (Chris O’Dowd) and security guard Kevin (Steve Oram) show no mercy. Swipes at Bruce’s rotund girth is never shirked by the former, as is being fondled in the office. “The weekly round-up”, reporting on (the lack of) female encounters to golf buddies Gary and Mickey (Tim Plester), compounds middle age misery. Sudden respite comes in the form new exotic American boss Julia (Rashida Jones) – the shameless courting of U.S. boxoffice remains unabated since FOUR WEDDINGS A FUNERAL. Bruce is smitten. Drew is lustful, opining colourfully that he would like to make a splash in her like a milkfloat hitting a brick wall. Taken off the social nicety leash, O’Dowd’s alpha dog crudity is one of the rare highpoints.
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An unofficial race to win Julia’s affections kicks off ignominiously when Bruce accidentally headbutts her. A moment absent of both gawky charm and humour, it typifies the total lack of chemistry between Frost and Jones – another dubious movie example of a shlubby guy and a beautiful woman (see also KNOCKED UP). Adding insult to injury, Rashida Jones is just used as a two-dimensional wallflower. Anyone who has consumed PARKS AND RECREATION and CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER will comprehend what a squandering of talent that is. Salsa dancing is the key to woo Julia, Bruce horrifyingly realises. Vietnam War flashbacks are the equivalent for our hero. Tracking down former mentor Ron Parfitt (Ian McShane), the inevitable training montages ensue. Their obviousness and tedium are thankfully broken up by a winning performance by Kayvan Novak, playing fellow hoofer Bejan – “Go back to the leisure centre bitches”.
CUBAN FURY is steeped in lazy plotting. Come the showdown, logic has left the building. Based on an original idea by Frost, did he even learn to dance? Like Matt Damon in the BOURNE franchise, the editing is so fast it could be anyone doing those moves. For all the glibness of THE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK’s climax, at least the film spent its runtime building the bond.
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