9 January 2015
This article is a look at the worst films of 2014 |
2014, I saw 458 films. I managed to catch just about everything that received a public cinema release that I wanted to see.
So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2014 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite films of 2014, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
THE TOP 30 WORST FILMS OF 2014
Those that nearly made it onto the list:: 47 RONIN, ALOFT, BUTTER ON THE LATCH, DANGEROUS LIAISONS, GRUDGE MATCH, HERCULES, LIFE OF CRIME, LUNA, MALEFICENT, OCTOBER GALE, SABOTAGE, TAMMY, THE CANYONS, THE EXPENDABLES 3, THE LITTLE HOUSE, THREE DAYS TO KILL, WHAT WE DID ON OUR SUMMER HOLIDAY
30. BLACK SEA
Sunken treasure. Submarines. Should have been a slam dunk. Bewildering choices are a continual bugbear for a film that reeks of a first-timer writing exercise; odd, given it’s from the brain behind UTOPIA.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
29. A LONG WAY DOWN
28. DRACULA UNTOLD
27. A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST
26. THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
Director Shawn Levy might be the worst Hollywood director working today. From NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM to REAL STEEL, he still keeps getting gigs.
Bateman-Fey-Fonda-Driver-Byrne-Stoll-Olyphant-Hann-Britton, actors left hanging in the wind. A clueless, hotchpotch family dramedy. |
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25. JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT
24. INTO THE STORM
23. A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES
A neo-noir falling short. There is extreme sadism without a wider analysis. Liam Neeson now does this kind of role in his sleep.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
22. POMPEII
21. THE COBBLER
In the basement of titular cobbler is a magical sewing machine. Once footwear has been stitched, Max (Adam Sandler) can wear said items and be transformed into the appearance of the owner. One kids you not.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
20. DUMB AND DUMBER TO
19. THE STAG
Every gag and "emotional" beat is signposted. Please can we have a moratorium on witless, sentimental pre-matrimonial tediosity?
[To read the full review, click here.] |
18. JERSEY BOYS
17. TRANSCENDENCE
16. TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
When you have a Transformer whose head turns into a gun, you probably can guess the level of mythology paucity you are about to watch. Product placement, merchandise-bait and the pandering to governments turn the stomach.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
15. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
14. THE KEEPER OF LOST CAUSES
What a struggle to find an original idea in this staid Nordic cop thriller; from mismatched bickering partners to convenient plot revelations.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
13. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2
12. HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS
11. THE LEGEND OF HERCULES
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10. EUROPA REPORT
If you’re going to make a space-set flick, you better be bringing your A game. EUROPA REPORT, it is a shame to, ahem, report is absolutely dire.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
9. EARTH TO ECHO
Any children of the 1980s reading this? Imagine your favourite movies from that era being dumbed down into lazy tripe, and you will have an inkling as to the quality of EARTH TO ECHO.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
8. BELOVED SISTERS
7. ROBOT OVERLORDS
6. MONSTERS: DARK CONTINENT
5. PARADISE IN SERVICE
4. THE WOMAN IN BLACK: ANGEL OF DEATH
No sequel was required. Nowhere did one hear requests. But true to horror flick form, a follow-up has been spewed forth. What a waste of resources.
[To read the full review, click here.] |