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10 January 2016
This article is a look at the worst films of 2015. |
2015, I saw 569 films. I managed to catch just about everything that received a public cinema release that I wanted to see.
So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2015 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite films of 2015, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2015 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite films of 2015, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
THE TOP 35 WORST FILMS OF 2015
Those that nearly made it onto the list: FOCUS, GANGSTER PAYDAY, GONE WITH THE BULLETS, HELLIONS, HOT PURSUIT, NOBODY WANTS THE NIGHT, SELF/LESS, SOLACE.
Those that nearly made it onto the list: FOCUS, GANGSTER PAYDAY, GONE WITH THE BULLETS, HELLIONS, HOT PURSUIT, NOBODY WANTS THE NIGHT, SELF/LESS, SOLACE.
35. THE GOOD DINOSAUR
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Even with CARS 2, I never would have thought a Pixar movie would make it onto this list. Storytelling here ranges from the tired to the bizarre.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
34. SHE’S FUNNY THAT WAY
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Anachronistic tedious buffoonery. Thirteen years have elapsed since Peter Bogdanovich's last cinematic fiction feature. Was it worth the wait? No.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
33. CHILD 44
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A botched adaptation of a nightmarish novel.
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32. A VERY MURRAY CHRISTMAS
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A plethora of cameos cannot save this, a self-indulgent, slapdash Xmas variety special.
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31. TAKEN 3
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No surprises this being on the list.
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30. FANTASTIC FOUR
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Aimed at the absolute lowest common denominator. That's three terrible 'Fantastic Four' movies in a row.
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29. SAN ANDREAS
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The Rock versus an earthquake. Seismically crud. A movie consisting entirely of thankless parts. Cliché, predictable and malnourished.
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28. HITMAN: AGENT 47
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Hard to believe, but even worse than the previous effort.
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27. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
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How do you make an S&M movie so dull?
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26. EVERY THING WILL BE FINE
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There is only one element getting an audience member through this dire, syrupy melodrama: The incongruous 3D photography.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
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25. BEEBA BOYS
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Excruciating gangster posturing. Dialogue and acting that would not be out of place in an adult film. A real shame.
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24. A TALE OF THREE CITIES
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Clunky, mawkish telling, based on Jackie Chan's parents. Even Tang Wei and MAD DETECTIVE's Ching Wan Tau can't rescue.
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23. SEVENTH SON
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A slog to get through this substandard fantasy gubbins.
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22. MAN UP
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The romantic-comedy. Is there a more creatively bankrupt genre? (Horror is obviously hot on its heels in terms of the ratio between quality and volume.) Actor Simon Pegg needs to stop doing these. Wait till you get to the cornball ending, it is weirdly inappropriate and vom-inducing.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
21. AS WE WERE DREAMING
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Imagine the opposite in quality to THIS IS ENGLAND and ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA.
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20. INSURGENT
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More leaden dim-witted allegorical dystopia. So much nonsense dressed as po-faced pseudo-gravitas.
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19. HYENA
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If it wasn’t for the like of actors Neil Maskell (UTOPIA) and Stephen Graham (BOARDWALK EMPIRE), this would be the sort of Brit gangster garbage that you could pick up at a petrol station for a couple of quid.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
18. I SAW THE LIGHT
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An excruciatingly tedious biopic of country singer Hank Williams. It makes those schedule-filler afternoon made-for-TV movies seem hard-hitting and incisive in comparison.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
17. LIFE
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Director Anton Corbijn came off a real creative high with A MOST WANTED MAN, and then delivered this: A dire James Dean biopic.
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16. THE LAST WITCH HUNTER
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A B-movie with an A-movie budget resulted in Vin Diesel’s PITCH BLACK. THE LAST WITCH HUNTER is on the opposite end of the quality spectrum.
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15. A ROYAL NIGHT OUT
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An imagined adventure for Princess Elizabeth, prior to becoming queen. Lots of squealing soaked in balderdash.
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14 THE MIND’S EYE
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Leaden psychic sci-fi horror. Sub-sub-sub-Cronenberg SCANNERS hokum.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
13. CINDERELLA
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A nuance vacuum. SHREK-style irony and clever spins on outdated notions of aspiration, class and a woman’s need to be rescued are absent.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
12 ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING
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Supposedly a comedy, it is hard to believe this is from the director of LIFE OF BRIAN.
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11. PAN
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Joins the other expensive, lacklustre Peter Pan adaptations (HOOK, PETER PAN).
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10 [SPOOKS] THE GREATER GOOD
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Spy TV show gets big screen treatment. Result is budget, inept espionage. Imagine a panache-less BOURNE.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
9. SEARCH PARTY
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A sort of inane THE HANGOVER. Humour struggles to be squeezed from the outlandish and crass. Coherence and believability are non-existent.
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8. PIXELS
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The potential, of arcade games in the real world, is wasted. Usual broad cobblers from Adam Sandler and Kevin James. Josh Gad and Peter Dinklage wasted.
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7. BY THE SEA
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Excruciating vanity project. Three films as director and Angelina Jolie needs to rethink her approach.
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6. THE GUNMAN
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Another vanity project; Here, Sean Penn’s. Devoid of brains and thrills.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
5. COWBOYS
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A modern take on THE SEARCHERS, backwards politics intact. Journeys into the offensive on a regular basis. Hard to believe this is the directorial debut from the co-writer of A PROPHET and DHEEPAN.
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4. JUPITER ASCENDING
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What were the Wachowski’s thinking? An utterly ill-conceived mess.
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3. NO ESCAPE
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A weird mix of gruesome violence and sentimentality, and TAKEN-esque dubious stereotyping.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
2. TERMINATOR GENISYS
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When will this franchise be put out of its misery? Another damp squib offering, standing on the shoulders of giants.
[To read the full review, click here.] |
1. AMERICAN SNIPER
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Bloody thirsty and hateful, shallow and unintelligent.
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Take a breather.
Phew! Got that out of my system. On to…
Part two, my favourite films of 2015. Click here.
Part three, my awards for the best films of 2015. Click here.
