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      • Action Cinema
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  • FILM-TV REVIEWS
    • 0 - 9 >
      • One Cut of the Dead
      • One Day
      • Two Days, One Night
      • 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy
      • 7 Days In Havana
      • Seven Psychopaths
      • Seven Swords
      • 009 Re: Cyborg
      • 11 Minutes
      • 12 Years A Slave
      • 13
      • 24 Weeks
      • 45 Years
      • 68 Kill
      • '71
      • 99 Homes
      • 300: Rise Of An Empire
      • 303
      • 20,000 Days On Earth
      • 8 Million Ways to Die
    • A >
      • A Bigger Splash
      • A Bronx Tale
      • A Cat In Paris
      • A Few Best Men
      • A Field In England
      • A Ghost Story
      • A Hard Day
      • A Lonely Place to Die
      • A Love Song
      • A Man's Flower Road
      • A Million Ways To Die In The West
      • A Monster Calls
      • A Prayer Before Dawn
      • A Second Chance
      • A Separation
      • A Single Shot
      • A Spanking in Paradise
      • A Thousand Times Good Night
      • A Walk Among The Tombstones
      • A White, White Day
      • Abduction
      • About Ray
      • Act of Valour
      • African Cats
      • Afro Samurai
      • After the Wedding
      • Alice Through the Looking Glass
      • All In Good Time
      • Alleluia
      • Allied
      • American Heist
      • American Pie: Reunion
      • Ana, Mon Amour
      • Anarchy
      • Anchor and Hope
      • Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
      • Angelica
      • Animal Kingdom
      • Animals
      • Anna Karenina
      • Anomalisa
      • Ant-Man
      • Arctic
      • Argo
      • Arrival
      • Asako I & II
      • Avengers: Age of Ultron
    • B >
      • Baby Driver
      • Babycall
      • Bacurau
      • Bad Neighbours
      • Bad Words
      • Bait
      • Banshee Chapter
      • Barbara
      • Barrage
      • Barry
      • Bastards
      • Bastille Day
      • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
      • Beasts Of The Southern Wild
      • Beatriz at Dinner
      • Beauty And The Beast
      • Bee Movie
      • Before Midnight
      • Before We Go
      • Belle
      • Benny & Jolene
      • Berlin Syndrome
      • Big Eyes
      • Big Game
      • Big Hero 6
      • Bitch
      • Black 47
      • Black Coal, Thin Ice
      • Black Eagle (R2B: Return To Base)
      • Black Panther
      • Black Rain
      • Black Sea
      • Black Sheep
      • Blackfish
      • Blackhat
      • Blade of the Immortal
      • Bleed for This
      • Blue Is The Warmest Colour
      • Bobby Fischer Against the World
      • Boca
      • Bodies Bodies Bodies
      • Bones and All
      • Bonsai
      • Boomerang Family
      • Border
      • Borgia
      • Boyhood
      • Brave
      • Brawl in Cell Block 99
      • Breaking Bad
      • Breakup Buddies
      • Breathe In
      • Breathing
      • Brian and Charles
      • Bridesmaids
      • Bright Nights
      • Britain from Above
      • Broken City
      • Bullhead
      • Bunraku
      • Burning
      • Bushwick
    • C >
      • Caesar Must Die
      • Cafe De Flore
      • Cake
      • Calvary
      • Can A Song Save Your Life?
      • Candy
      • Captain America: Civil War
      • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
      • Captain Phillips
      • Carrie Pilby
      • Carnage
      • Casa De Mi Padre
      • Cashback
      • Castle in the Sky
      • Catfight
      • Central Intelligence
      • Chasuke's Journey
      • Chef
      • Chrysalis
      • Cinderella
      • Cleopatra
      • Climax
      • Close Encounters of the Third Kind
      • Clouds of Sils Maria
      • Coin Locker Girl
      • Cold Eyes
      • Cold In July
      • Cold War
      • Collective Invention
      • Colonia
      • Color Out of Space
      • Colossal
      • Comes A Bright Day
      • Compliance
      • Computer Chess
      • Conan the Barbarian
      • Confession Of A Child Of The Century
      • Contraband
      • Corporate Animals
      • Cowboys and Aliens
      • Crazy, Stupid, Love
      • Crown Heights
      • Crying Fist
      • Crystal Swan
      • Cuban Fury
      • Cuckoo
      • Cyber City Oedo 808
    • D >
      • Daddy's Home
      • Damsel
      • Dangerous Liaisons (2012)
      • Dark River
      • Darkest Hour
      • Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
      • Days of Heaven
      • Day Watch
      • Dead Snow 2: Red Vs Dead
      • Dear Prudence
      • Death Proof
      • Death Watch
      • Deep End
      • Deerskin
      • Delicacy
      • Demolition
      • Dennis Rodman's Big Bang in Pyongyang
      • Deranged
      • Desierto
      • Despicable Me 2
      • Destroyer
      • Detachment
      • Devil's Knot
      • Dheepan
      • Dirty Grandpa
      • Disobedience
      • Disorder
      • Disturbia
      • Divines
      • Django
      • Django Unchained
      • Dogman
      • Don Jon
      • Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot
      • Dora or the Sexual Neuroses of Our Parents
      • Double Impact
      • Downsizing
      • Dreamgirls
      • Dreileben
      • Drive
    • E >
      • Eagle vs. Shark
      • Earth 2
      • Earth To Echo
      • Earthquake Bird
      • Elephant Song
      • Elite Squad: The Enemy Within
      • Elles
      • Elysium
      • Ema
      • Empire of the Sun
      • End Of Watch
      • End of Winter
      • Ender's Game
      • Entanglement
      • Epic
      • Equals
      • Escobar: Paradise Lost
      • Essential Killing
      • Europa Report
      • Euthanizer
      • Even The Rain
      • Every Thing Will Be Fine
      • Exodus: Gods and Kings
      • Eye in the Sky
    • F >
      • Fading Gigolo
      • Far From the Madding Crowd
      • Farewell To The King
      • Fast & Feel Love
      • Fast & Furious 6
      • Fast & Furious 7
      • Fast Girls
      • Fear And Desire
      • Felicite
      • Felony
      • Final Destination 5
      • Final Portrait
      • Fist of Legend
      • Flight
      • Flu
      • Flyboys
      • For Ellen
      • Forgetting Sarah Marshall
      • Frances Ha
      • Francine
      • Frank
      • Free Agents
      • Free Birds
      • Free Men
      • Fright Night
      • From Up On Poppy Hill
      • Frozen
      • Fuck For Forest
      • Fukushima, Mon Amour
      • Funny Cow
    • G >
      • Gang Story
      • Gemini Man
      • Genius
      • Gimme The Loot
      • Goat
      • God Bless America
      • Godzilla
      • Golden Exits
      • Good Kill
      • Grave of the Fireflies
      • Great Expectations
      • Gravity
      • Green Room
      • Grindhouse Trailer Classics 3
      • Guilty of Romance
      • Guns & Talk
    • H >
      • Hacksaw Ridge
      • Haemoo
      • Hammer Of The Gods
      • Happy Feet Two
      • Happy New Year, Colin Burstead
      • Happy People
      • Hardcore
      • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
      • Headshot
      • Heavenly Creatures
      • Hell
      • Hellboy II: The Golden Army
      • Hemel
      • Her
      • Hereditary
      • Hide And Seek
      • Hill of Freedom
      • Hitchcock
      • Hollywoo
      • Holy Rollers
      • Homefront
      • Hope Springs
      • Horns
      • Horrible Bosses 2
      • Hostel: Part II
      • Hostiles
      • How I Spent My Summer Vacation
      • How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire
      • How to Train Your Dragon
      • Hyena
      • Hysteria
    • I >
      • I Could Never be Your Woman
      • I Lost My Body
      • I Love You, Daddy
      • I Saw the Devil
      • I Saw the Light
      • I, Tonya
      • I'm So Excited
      • If Beale Street Could Talk
      • Immortals
      • In Darkness
      • In Fabric
      • In Order Of Disappearance
      • In Search of a Midnight Kiss
      • In the Aisles
      • In The Bedroom
      • In the Heart of the Sea
      • In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
      • Inside Llewyn Davis
      • Inside Out
      • Insyriated
      • Interstellar
      • Ip Man 3
      • Iron Man 3
      • Isle of Dogs
      • It Follows
    • J >
      • J. Edgar
      • Jack Goes Boating
      • Jack Reacher
      • Jackie
      • Jackpot
      • Jayne Mansfield's Car
      • Jersey Boys
      • Jin
      • Jiro Dreams Of Sushi
      • John Dies At The End
      • Joker
      • Jonathan
      • Journey's End
      • Journeyman
      • Juan Of The Dead
      • Jupiter's Moon
      • Just Do It
    • K >
      • Kaboom
      • Kenny
      • Khodorkovsky
      • Kick-Ass 2
      • Kill List
      • Kings
      • Klokkenluider
      • Klown
      • Knight of Cups
      • Knives Out
      • Kodachrome
      • Kosmos
      • Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter
      • Kundo: Age Of The Rampant
    • L >
      • La Belle Epoque
      • La La Land
      • La Piscine
      • Lady Bird
      • Lady Chatterley
      • Lara
      • Largo Winch: Deadly Revenge
      • Largo Winch: The Burma Conspiracy
      • Las Acacias
      • Last Flag Flying
      • Last Night
      • Last Vegas
      • Laurence Anyways
      • Le Havre
      • Le Mans '66 / Ford v Ferrari
      • Le Week-End
      • Learning to Drive
      • Leave No Trace
      • Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen
      • Les Affames
      • Les Miserables
      • Lethal Weapon
      • Liberal Arts
      • Life Of Crime
      • Life Of Pi
      • Like Father, Like Son
      • Limitless
      • Lincoln
      • Lion
      • Logan
      • Lone Survivor
      • Looper
      • Lore
      • Love & Mercy
      • Love Crime
      • Love Is All You Need
      • Love Punch
      • Loveless
      • Loving
      • Lucky Them
      • Lust, Caution
    • M >
      • Mad Max: Fury Road
      • Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
      • Madeline's Madeline
      • Maggie's Plan
      • Magic Trip
      • Maleficent
      • Man Of Steel
      • Man Up
      • Manchester by the Sea
      • Manhunt
      • Maps To The Stars
      • Marjorie Prime
      • Marrowbone
      • Mary Goes Round
      • May the Devil Take You
      • McCullin
      • Me and Orson Welles
      • Me And You
      • Medusa Deluxe
      • Mercy
      • Metallica Through The Never
      • Michael Clayton
      • Midnight Special
      • Miles Ahead
      • Minions
      • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
      • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
      • Mister John
      • Moana
      • Molly's Game
      • Monsieur Lazhar
      • Monsters University
      • More
      • Morris from America
      • Mother And Child
      • Mr. Brooks
      • Mr Holmes
      • Mr Long
      • Mr. Nobody
      • Much Ado About Nothing
      • Muppets Most Wanted
      • Museo
      • My Days of Mercy
      • My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea
      • My Friend Dahmer
      • My Great Night
      • My Neighbour Totoro
      • My Neighbours The Yamadas
      • My Soul to Take
      • My Voyage to Italy
      • My Way
      • Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie
    • N >
      • Nasty Baby
      • Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
      • Need For Speed
      • Never Goin' Back
      • New World
      • News from Planet Mars
      • Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
      • Nightbirds
      • Nightcrawler
      • Nim's Island
      • Nina Forever
      • No
      • No Escape
      • No One Lives
      • Noah
      • Nocturnal Animals
      • Norman
      • Nostalgia For The Light
      • Nymphomaniac Volume 1
      • Nymphomaniac Volume 2
    • O >
      • Olympus Has Fallen
      • On Body and Soul
      • On Chesil Beach
      • Once
      • Only God Forgives
      • Oranges and Sunshine
      • Orion
      • Our Little Sister
      • Out Of The Furnace
      • Outrage Beyond
      • Outside In
    • P >
      • Pacific Rim
      • Papillon
      • Passport To Pimlico
      • Patti Cake$
      • Penguins of Madagascar
      • Perfect Sense
      • Pete's Dragon
      • Petra
      • Phoenix
      • Ping Pong
      • Piranha
      • Planes
      • Planet Terror
      • Pokemon Detective Pikachu
      • Polisse
      • Populaire
      • Porco Rosso
      • Possession
      • Potiche
      • Powder Room
      • Preggoland
      • Prince Avalanche
      • Princess Mononoke
      • Project Nim
      • Project X
      • Punishment Park
      • Pusher
    • Q >
      • Queen of Earth
      • Queen of the Desert
      • Quest For Fire
    • R >
      • R100
      • Racer and the Jailbird
      • Raid on Entebbe
      • Ran
      • Ratatouille
      • Ready Player One
      • Real Steel
      • [REC] 3 Genesis
      • Red 2
      • Red Dawn
      • Red White & Blue
      • Renoir
      • Requiem For A Killer
      • Requiem For A Village
      • Reservation Road
      • Resistance
      • Results
      • Return to Montauk
      • Revenge Of The Electric Car
      • Revivre
      • Revolution
      • Revolutionary Road
      • Riddick
      • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
      • Roman J. Israel, Esq.
      • Romantics Anonymous
      • Rurouni Kenshin 2: Kyoto Inferno
      • Rurouni Kenshin 3: The Legend Ends
      • Rush
      • Rust And Bone
    • S >
      • Safe
      • Safe House
      • Saint Amour
      • Salmon Fishing In The Yemen
      • Salt and Fire
      • Salt of Life
      • Samsara
      • Savages
      • Sawako Decides
      • Season of the Witch
      • See [seasons 1-2]
      • Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
      • Selma
      • Shadow
      • She's Funny That Way
      • Shepherds and Butchers
      • Sherlock Holmes - A Game of Shadows
      • Short Term 12
      • Shotgun Stories
      • Sightseers
      • Simon Killer
      • Sing
      • Sister
      • Skate Kitchen
      • Sleeping with Other People
      • Sleuth
      • Small Apartments
      • Snitch
      • Snowpiercer
      • Snowtown
      • Sonatine
      • Son of a Gun
      • Son of Saul
      • Soul Surfer
      • Source Code
      • Southern Comfort
      • Soy Nero
      • Spartacus: Vengeance
      • Spartacus: War Of The Damned
      • Special Forces
      • SPL 2: A Time for Consequences
      • Spooks: The Greater Good
      • Spoor
      • Spotlight
      • Spring
      • Spy
      • Stake Land
      • Stalingrad
      • Stan & Ollie
      • Star Trek Beyond
      • Star Trek Into Darkness
      • Starbuck
      • Strange Weather
      • Submarine
      • Suite Francaise
      • Summer In February
      • Sunshine On Leith
      • Super
      • Superbad
      • Superman Returns
      • Sweet Country
      • Synchronic
    • T >
      • Taken 2
      • Taking Off
      • Tales from Earthsea
      • Tatsumi
      • Taxi
      • Taxi: Season 1
      • Ted
      • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
      • Terminator Genisys
      • Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
      • Testament of Youth
      • Tetsuo: The Iron Man
      • That Awkward Moment
      • Therese Desqueyroux
      • They Came Together
      • Things to Come
      • This Is The End
      • Thor: The Dark World
      • Thoroughbreds
      • Those Happy Years
      • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
      • Three Christs
      • Throne of Blood
      • Tiger Girl
      • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
      • Tiny Furniture
      • Tokyo Ga
      • Tokyo Godfathers
      • Tokyo Tribe
      • Tomboy
      • Tomorrowland
      • Toni Erdmann
      • Total Recall
      • Tragedy Girls
      • Train to Busan
      • Trance
      • Transformers
      • Transformers: Age Of Extinction
      • Transit
      • Transit [2018]
      • Trespass Against Us
      • Triangle
      • Triangle of Sadness
      • Troll Hunter
      • Tron: Legacy
      • Truman
      • Tumbbad
      • Two Lovers and a Bear
    • THE >
      • The Amateurs
      • The Arbor
      • The Assault
      • The Autopsy of Jane Doe
      • The Avengers
      • The Awakening
      • The Baader-Meinhof Complex
      • The Bacchus Lady
      • The Bad Batch
      • The Ballad of Narayama
      • The Bar
      • The Bay
      • The Baytown Outlaws
      • The Be All And End All
      • The Beaver
      • The Belko Experiment
      • The Beloved
      • The Berlin File
      • The Big Sick
      • The Bookshop
      • The Boy and the Beast
      • The Brawler
      • The Breadwinner
      • The Breaker Upperers
      • The Cabin In The Woods
      • The Captain
      • The Castle of Cagliostro
      • The Cat Returns
      • The Chamber
      • The Children Act
      • The Climb
      • The Cobbler
      • The Commune
      • The Conjuring 2
      • The Counsellor
      • The Croods
      • The Current War
      • The Danish Girl
      • The Daughter
      • The Day After
      • The Dead
      • The Debt
      • The Devil's Double
      • The Dinner
      • The Dinosaur Project
      • The Doom Generation
      • The Drummond Will
      • The Dyatlov Pass Incident
      • The East
      • The Edge of Seventeen
      • The Evil in Us
      • The Expendables 3
      • The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec
      • The Fake
      • The Family Fang
      • The Farewell
      • The Favourite
      • The Fighter
      • The Five Year Engagement
      • The Front Runner
      • The Girl
      • The Girl in the Photographs
      • The Good Dinosaur
      • The Grand Heist
      • The Grandmaster
      • The Greasy Strangler
      • The Great Beauty
      • The Greatest Movie Ever Sold
      • The Guest
      • The Guilty
      • The Gunman
      • The Hateful Eight
      • The Heiresses
      • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
      • The House That Jack Built
      • The Housemaid
      • The Hunger Games
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
      • The Hunter
      • The Huntsman: Winter's War
      • The Iceman
      • The Imitation Game
      • The Incredible Jessica James
      • The Informer
      • The Innkeepers
      • The Interrupters
      • The Intervention
      • The Judge
      • The Keeper Of Lost Causes
      • The Killer Inside Me
      • The King
      • The Last Stand
      • The Legend of Bruce Lee
      • The Lighthouse
      • The Little House
      • The Little Tailor
      • The Lives of Others
      • The Lone Ranger
      • The Look Of Love
      • The Lost Okoroshi
      • The Man from Nowhere
      • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
      • The Mercy
      • The Mind's Eye
      • The Miseducation of Cameron Post
      • The Mist
      • The Molly Dineen Collection Volume Three
      • The Motive
      • The Mule
      • The Muppets
      • The Necessary Death Of Charlie Countryman
      • The Nice Guys
      • The Nightingale
      • The Northman
      • The Numbers Station
      • The Other Side of Hope
      • The Overnight
      • The Panic in Needle Park
      • The Party
      • The Patriarch
      • The Place Beyond The Pines
      • The Prey
      • The Proposition
      • The Purge: Anarchy
      • The Raid
      • The Raid 2
      • The Railway Man
      • The Reach
      • The Rebound
      • The Red Turtle
      • The Reef
      • The Resident
      • The Return Of The Living Dead
      • The Revenant
      • The Rig
      • The Sapphires
      • The Saragossa Manuscript
      • The Satellite Girl and the Milk Cow
      • The Secret in Their Eyes
      • The Selfish Giant
      • The Sentinel
      • The Shameless
      • The Shape of Water
      • The Shining
      • The Signal
      • The Skin I Live In
      • The Source
      • The Stag
      • The Strange Little Cat
      • The Summit
      • The Taste Of Money
      • The Thieves
      • The Thing
      • The Third Murder
      • The Tree
      • The Tribe
      • The Two Faces Of January
      • The Truth
      • The Upside
      • The Veteran
      • The Villainess
      • The Voices
      • The Walking Dead season two
      • The Watch
      • The Water Diviner
      • The Wave
      • The Way
      • The Way Way Back
      • The Whistlers
      • The Widow of Saint-Pierre
      • The Wind Rises
      • The Wolverine
      • The Woman in Black: Angel of Death
      • The Woman in the Fifth
      • The World of Kanako
      • The World's End
      • The Yellow Sea
      • The Young And Prodigious T.S. Spivet
    • U >
      • Unbeatable
      • Unbroken
      • Underground
      • Underwater Love
      • Unforgiven
      • Unicorn Store
      • Unicorn Wars
      • Unknown
      • Unmistaken Child
      • Unsane
      • Unstoppable
    • V >
      • Vehicle 19
      • V/H/S
      • V/H/S/2
      • Victoria
      • Vidal Sassoon The Movie
      • Villain
      • Vinyl season one
      • Visitors
      • Viva La Liberta
      • Vox Lux
    • W >
      • Waitress
      • Walking Out
      • War Dogs
      • War Horse
      • War of the Arrow
      • War on Everyone
      • Warrior
      • Watcher
      • We Are the Flesh
      • We Are The Night
      • We Gotta Get Out Of This Place
      • We Steal Secrets: The Story Of Wikileaks
      • Weekend
      • Weird: The Al Yankovic Story
      • Weirdos
      • Welcome To New York
      • West is West
      • What If
      • What Maisie Knew
      • What We Do In The Shadows
      • While We're Young
      • White God
      • Who Killed The Electric Car?
      • Who We Are Now
      • Widows
      • Wiener-Dog
      • Wild Mouse
      • Wildlife
      • Willow Creek
      • Wish I Was Here
      • Woman at War
      • Wonderstruck
      • Woochi: The Demon Slayer
      • Woody Allen: A Documentary
      • Words And Pictures
      • World War Z
      • Wreck-It Ralph
      • Wuthering Heights
      • Wyrmwood
    • X >
      • X-Men: Apocalypse
      • X-Men: Days Of Future Past
      • X+Y
    • Y >
      • Yardie
      • Yatterman
      • Yojimbo
      • You Are Here
      • You Instead
      • You Were Never Really Here
      • You're Next
      • Young Adult
      • Your Sister's Sister
    • Z >
      • Zathura
  • THEATRE & ARTS
    • A Walk On Part: The Fall Of New Labour
    • Akram Khan: Homeland
    • All New People
    • Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn in Conversation
    • Battle Angel Alita: volume 1
    • Battle Angel Alita: volumes 2, 3 & 4
    • Battle Angel Alita: volumes 5, 6, 7, 8, & 9
    • Brian Wilson
    • Cantina
    • Derren Brown - Svengali
    • Fourth Dimensional Minds Eye Summoning
    • Gilbert & George
    • Jumpy
    • Let The Right One In
    • Lisa Appignanesi
    • Mary Queen Of Scots Got Her Head Chopped Off
    • My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
    • Othello: The Remix
    • Philip Pullman
    • Posh
    • Rob Delaney
    • Ronin
    • Sunken Garden
    • Sutra
    • The Book Of Mormon
    • The Great Gatsby
    • The Master And Margarita
    • The Silver Linings Playbook
    • The Thinking Drinker's Guide To Alcohol
    • Thriller Live
    • Touched...Like A Virgin
    • Travelling Light
    • Wah! Wah! Girls - A British Bollywood Musical
    • Wild Swans
  • FEATURES-INTERVIEWS
    • 2008 Review and 2009 Preview
    • 2010 in Review
    • 2011 In Review
    • 2012 In Anticipation
    • 2012 In Review: Part One
    • 2012 In Review: Part Two
    • Alternate Summer 2011
    • Ang Lee: A Life In Pictures
    • Atmosphere of the Berlinale
    • Autumn at the Multiplexes
    • BBC 4 World Cinema Award 2006
    • Berlin Film Festival 2011: Part One
    • Berlin Film Festival 2011: Part Two
    • Berlin Film Festival 2011: Part Three
    • Berlin Film Festival 2012: Part One
    • Berlin Film Festival 2012: Part Two
    • Berlin Film Festival 2012: Part Three
    • Best Films of 2013
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2 January 2013

This article is a review of the movies of 2012.

By Hemanth Kissoon
2012 was a banner year on many counts. I know quality has poured forth when there are too many films for a Top 10, and I’m continually re-arranging the list, as several films vie for that, ahem, much desired Number 1 spot!

I saw 375 films, of which 283 were at the cinema. I managed to catch just about everything that received a public cinema release that I wanted to see.

So let us begin.

The bile out of the way first.


WORST FILMS

Hatefulness and tedium are the nadir of cinema crimes, with stupidity and creative bankruptcy closely followed behind.

Those that nearly made it onto the list: Wrath of the Titans, [Rec.] Genesis, The Dinosaur Project, Pusher, The Darkest Hour, Save Your Legs!, Silent Hill: Revelation, Lockout, Ice Age: Continental Drift, The Bourne Legacy, and Black Eagle: R2B (Return To Base).

The worst 25 films of the year:

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25. WE BOUGHT A ZOO    

The usual saccharine tripe from director Cameron Crowe (ELIZABETHTOWN). With added cheek of transporting the based-on-fact story from the UK to the USA. Even Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson can’t save this from twee ignominy.


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24. WHITE DEER PLAIN

At something like 188 minutes, an interminable epic-wannabe covering 20 years of Chinese history. So all over the place that the camera even turns away from the money-shot explosion.


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23. JOHN CARTER

Andrew Stanton directed some of the most respected animated works of the modern era in WALL.E and FINDING NEMO. When it was announced he was taking on TARZAN author’s seminal JOHN CARTER OF MARS trilogy, my anticipation levels were through the roof. One hundred years on those novels still stand up as white-knuckle thrill rides. However, the resulting cinematic adaptation of the first book was wooden, miscast and generic.


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22. ENTANGLEMENT

Polish police flick that harks backs to 90s “erotic” thrillers. Ends up treating its leading lady woefully, and the plot points are laughable. My full review here.

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21. PIRANHA 3DD

PIRANHA 3D was knowing exploitation B.S., but fun. What little smarts/jollification the previous instalment had, was vaporized here.    

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20. IRON SKY

Premiering at the Berlin Film Festival, who would’ve guessed a film about space Nazis living on the moon and planning an Earth invasion would be so inane?

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19. SPIKE ISLAND

An inept coming-of-age story of poorly drawn teens attempting to sneak into a Stone Roses gig. The dialogue falls out of mouths like lead.

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18. CROSSFIRE HURRICANE

If you knew nothing about The Rolling Stones, you may possibly find CROSSFIRE HURRICANE of some interest. Feels like an extended hagiographic advert for the world tour.

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17. MY WAY

An hysteria-imbued, impenetrably mawkish, Korean war drama concerning marathon runners. My full review here.

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16. AFRICAN CATS

Disney doc that gives the audience nothing that can’t be gleaned from a television; and injects anthropomorphism so greatly as to question any academic usefulness of the movie. My full review here.

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15. MEN IN BLACK 3

It appears that even Tommy Lee Jones wanted very little to do with it. Understandable.

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14. ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER

An appallingly written novel turned into an appallingly made movie. Honest Abe moonlighting as a vampire hunter, with vampirism used as a crude and brainless analogy for slavery.

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13. TAKEN 2

TAKEN had the feel of right wing hate mongering, but at least it had badass action. TAKEN 2 doesn’t even have that. My full review here.

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12. COMES A BRIGHT DAY

A heist romantic drama starring the lead of SUBMARINE had me intrigued. But with a script so sh*t, it sucked the life out of me like the Skeksises to the Geflings in THE DARK CRYSTAL. My full review here.

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11. A FEW BEST MEN

A pseudo-Brit-HANGOVER sans jokes. My full review here.

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10. REQUIEM FOR A KILLER

Even ridiculously lovely Mélanie Laurent couldn’t rescue this banal opera-hitwoman drama. Was it meant to be an experiment: What happens when you strip a film of characterisation, emotions, metaphor and divertissement? My full review here.

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9. HOLLYWOO

A borderline offensive French “comedy”. My full review here.

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8. PROMETHEUS

What a cluster f*ck! I shake my head in disgust as I type even six months on. Who has made a more disappointing prequel to a beloved 70s sci-fi classic, Ridley Scott or George Lucas? Most blockbusters seem to have plot-holes, but PROMETHEUS’s were so humungous (and plentiful) you could pilot a starship through them. Like THE PHANTOM MENACE diminishing the legacy of A NEW HOPE, this does the same to ALIEN.

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7. FAST GIRLS

Analogous to a school production mimicking BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, and sucking out the charm and charisma, while filling the void with clunky lines and performances. Incompetent on nearly every level. My full review here.

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6. ROCK OF AGES

Bar Tom Cruise stealing the film as rock star Stacee Jaxx, the rest of the runtime is misogyny and lazy romance.

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5. TOTAL RECALL

Remakes are mostly lame, this however is a lesson in how to spunk money on the screen with no imaginative returns. Weak set-pieces are the least of the problems. Colin Farrell is not talentless but is in a thankless position of replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger. But again that’s not the worst. The premise is. Earth is unliveable bar Europe and Australia, so some peeps build a shuttle-thing that travels through the centre of the world between these two colonies. Then people do things for no real logical reason. The end.

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4. THIS MEANS WAR

What were Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon thinking when they agreed to be part of an anaemic rom-action-com that has none of those elements? I’m actually angry with them; their warning alarms should’ve gone off when the director of CHARLIE’S ANGELS 2 and TERMINATOR SALVATION was attached to direct.

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3. BATTLESHIP

Probably the worst blockbuster of all time. So dumb, it makes TRANSFORMERS seem like a profound critique on the human condition in comparison.

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2. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

A trailer suggested this “reboot” might go in a different direction. The finished product epitomises creative bankruptcy in filmmaking. What exactly was added to Sam Raimi’s original from only 10 years ago? Absolutely nothing. Utterly pointless perhaps; unless arguably an object might be to make lots of money from people who should know better?

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1. THE IRON LADY

Meryl Streep is a legend. I’m fully on board with that thought. So she can imitate Margaret Thatcher – does that deserve an Oscar? Nope. We are given a film seemingly aimed at middlebrow audiences, who can’t be bothered to delve into history, and machine-tooled to win awards. The director of MAMMA MIA! delivered a whitewash of a hugely contentious part of British history. Policies from a government and prime minister that still reverberate today. Where was the analysis? The intelligence? The context? 

Disingenuous maybe? Dire, definitely.



Take a breather.

Phew! Got that out of my system. On to…

Part Two. My favourite films of 2012, and the best. Click here.

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