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How entertaining? ★★☆☆☆
Thought provoking? ★☆☆☆☆ 7 August 2014
This article is a review of THE EXPENDABLES 3.
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“I feel like I was born in 1984,” Galgo (Antonio Banderas) to Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer) and Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone)
Dropping the age restriction to broaden appeal, has the opposite affect: Bloodless gleeful murder sprees, of faceless baddies, by our ostensible A-team heightens the dubiousness of it all, while also robbing any guilty pleasure at wallowing in the carnage.
Let's face it, we're sitting through a third outing to watch 80s and 90s action stars punch/shoot/knife/kick/detonate stuff/perps; the likes of FIRST BLOOD, COMMANDO, LETHAL WEAPON, BLADE are not meant for kids. Fast/uneven editing down of the brouhaha, for a likely uncut home entertainment release, makes for a headache inducing spectacle in a minor key - the franchise pinnacle predecessor has little downtime betwixt melees. Here, mawkishness and leaden storytelling pad out lacklustre set pieces; a disappointment from the director of potent Aussie outback revenge thriller, RED HILL. Cinematographer Chris Menzies Jr. doesn't help either, shooting in an annoying palette of beige and grey. Such colourful compadres deserve to be matched by the verdant hues of Saturday afternoon style mercenary-sploitation.
Dropping the age restriction to broaden appeal, has the opposite affect: Bloodless gleeful murder sprees, of faceless baddies, by our ostensible A-team heightens the dubiousness of it all, while also robbing any guilty pleasure at wallowing in the carnage.
Let's face it, we're sitting through a third outing to watch 80s and 90s action stars punch/shoot/knife/kick/detonate stuff/perps; the likes of FIRST BLOOD, COMMANDO, LETHAL WEAPON, BLADE are not meant for kids. Fast/uneven editing down of the brouhaha, for a likely uncut home entertainment release, makes for a headache inducing spectacle in a minor key - the franchise pinnacle predecessor has little downtime betwixt melees. Here, mawkishness and leaden storytelling pad out lacklustre set pieces; a disappointment from the director of potent Aussie outback revenge thriller, RED HILL. Cinematographer Chris Menzies Jr. doesn't help either, shooting in an annoying palette of beige and grey. Such colourful compadres deserve to be matched by the verdant hues of Saturday afternoon style mercenary-sploitation.
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Unafraid to make wink-wink digs at certain characteristics of the leads (though never going mean), having the Expendables break Wesley Snipes from prison, and a later acknowledgement of his tax infringement incarceration issues, is an opening gambit signalling business as usual. That the prologue is a watered down version of number two's Schwarzenegger rescue kick off, is as if we're in some violent Groundhog Day. By the by, Snipes's Doc is extracted from an armoured prison train that culminates in the max security penitentiary destination evaporated by the on-board train cannon. Who cares about the inmates and non-tyrannical guards?!
There is some sort of plot in line with the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE series involving one of their own turned rogue: Mel Gibson coasting as the sneering, vituperating villain. His putting Terry Crews' Hale Caesar in intensive care is a rubbish catalyst for: Sylvester Stallone's Barney Ross to disband the gang, and then to globetrot randomly with FRASIER's Kelsey Grammer recruiting charisma-less younglings to reek revenge. One says, "globetrot", but none of the destinations look like their locales, just poorly decorated sets. "Mexico" is particularly inane.
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Harrison Ford turns up for his pay cheque as a CIA handler with a heart, making a cheeky dig at Bruce Willis' parting of company. Antonio Banderas' motormouth out of work merc is the refreshing addition to the braggadocio. Even employment in death dealing is a struggle. Is there no growth sector?!
Come the dreary showdown involving the Expendables killing on an extraordinary scale, logic left the climactic building, situated in a made-up country (verify for one whether you heard the name right, “Assmanistan”?), peopled solely by cannon fodder.
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