How entertaining?     ★★☆☆☆
Thought provoking? ★★☆☆☆

23 June 2015

This a movie review of MINIONS.

By Hemanth Kissoon

“Wow! So many villains in one car!” Madge Nelson (Allison Janney)
 
Anarchy distilled to perfection has been achieved in THE LEGO MOVIE, and cute characters getting into scrapes was done wonderfully earlier this year with THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER. (One is still toe-tapping along to N.E.R.D.’s ‘Squeeze Me’.) The little yellow critters are the best thing about the weak DESPICABLE ME franchise, and like the PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR they rightly deserve a movie of their own.

As winsome as the Minions are, there is a randomness to their first stand alone adventure. In the hands of superior filmmakers (think Pixar and Studio Ghibli firing on all cylinders) there would actually be engaging plot mechanics and characterisation. Only the youngest (or undemanding) of audiences will come out sated. MINIONS is a cinematic E-number; laughing sporadically at the time, when you emerge blinking outside you will struggle to discern any standout moments.
 
Surprisingly liberal (explicitly mentioning evolution, dissing President Nixon, showing an anti-war march) in light of the dubiousness of DESPICABLE ME 2, the film wastes no time in going proper prequel: Starting at the dawn of sentience when a single-celled Minion pops into existence and, as Darwinian theory kicks in, they latch onto the most fearsome predator in nature. From the T-Rex to Napoleon, the protagonists (immortally?) move through the food chain, usually the bunglingly innocent cause of their masters’ demise. At the French emperor’s nineteenth century removal from hegemony, the Minion tribe hide out in a snowy cave for generations. Not content with each other, or freedom, they become despondent at lack of a master. (Sociologists and anthropologists make of that what you will.)
 
Brave member Kevin steps forward. He volunteers to venture out to look for a new apex of evil, for his kin to affix their colours to. Only two join him on a potentially ‘Lord of the Rings’-style quest: Stuart the musician, and youngster Bob.

New York, 1968, 48 years before we originally met Gru (Steve Carrell), is the first leg of their journey. Lost in Manhattan, the trio stumble across a secret television broadcast advertising “Villian-Con”, the 89-year old showcase for the globe’s greatest antagonists. Keynote speaker will be Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock), who has broken through the glass ceiling to be the first female super-villain. From the Big Apple, Orlando, Florida, is next on the itinerary, getting a lift from a weirdly incongruous family of bank robbers (one wonders how many studio meetings were had to okay this element). The conference could have been MONSTERS, INC imaginative. It wasn’t. There’s a baddie called Frankie Fishlips. Enough said.
 
Luck of the Inspector Gadget/Clouseau variety inveigles the guys (actually, are there any lady Minions?) into the employ of Scarlet and husband Herb (Jon Hamm), and a trip to their castle home of 1960s swinging London. Cop and newsreader drinking tea on the job have none of the snarky stereotyping panache of Sacha Baron Cohen imbibing an espresso while racing in TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY.
 
Hyperactivity dialled up, sense dialled down, is the modus operandi behind a new story point involving theft of Queen Elizabeth’s crown.
 
For a stroke of having such distinctive protagonists, MINIONS is oddly bereft of invention.

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