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4 January 2018
This article is a look at the worst films of 2017. |
I saw 556 films in 2017. So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2017 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite films of 2017, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
Part one of my review of 2017 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite films of 2017, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
THE TOP 20 WORST FILMS OF 2017
20. ALIEN: COVENANT
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Like PROMETHEUS, filled with bland, senseless characters. Best idea squandered. Clichés and inept action abound.
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19. JUSTICE LEAGUE
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Visually awful. Dramatically inert. Leads and villain devoid of personality. If not for WONDER WOMAN, this franchise would be pointless.
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18. XXX: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE
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A film so laughably bad, it could be a spoof. Why does this series exist? Who actually likes these movies?
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17. STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI
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Just three standout sequences in 152 minutes. The rest is derivative storytelling, wooden dialogue and non-existent characterisation. The First Order enemy hamstrings this entire project.
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16. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
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Kenneth Branagh is a mediocre actor, and a mediocre director. A laboured, grating whodunnit.
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15. VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS
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A leaden mega budget banality. The dialogue is atrocious, the plotting is dire, the female roles are woefully drawn, the action is incompetent, the allegory is muddled, etc.
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14. KODACHROME
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Ed Harris brings class, but this is a cornball road movie. Obvious, predictable, sentimental.
[To read my full review, click here.] |
13. THE GREAT WALL
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What a naff monster movie.
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12. RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER
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I used to have a soft spot for these movies, but this is truly inane.
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11. ROUGH NIGHT
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So many talented leading ladies wasted. Unfunny and tritely mawkish.
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10. THE SNOWMAN
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A throw back to the crummy serial killer flicks of the 1990s.
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9. THE CHILDREN ACT
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Far from a satisfactory examination of existential crises. Richard Eyre is not a good filmmaker at the best of times, but this is tripe.
[To read my full review, click here.] |
8. TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT
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The TRANSFORMERS movies might be the worst cinema franchise of all time.
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7. RULES DON’T APPLY
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It was not worth the 19-year wait for Warren Beatty’s latest directing project. Vacuous stuff.
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6. OVERDRIVE
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OVERDRIVE is so bad it makes THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS look like a Bergman movie.
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5. BOKEH
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Padded apocalyptic dullness. Actors drown in terrible dialogue and duff moments.
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4. THE GUARDIANS
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Interminable. Dramatically inert. 1900 and SUNSET SONG this isn't.
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3. UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS
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The UNDERWORLD movies really have been botched. Talk about convoluted. Also, what's up with that pure blood nonsense?
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2. FUNNY COW
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An arduous stand-up drama, which feels like a leaden biopic. What's up with the race-related jokes?
[To read my full review, click here.] |
1. GHOST IN THE SHELL
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Seriously dubious. Unsatisfactory on so many levels. An unforgivably lousy adaptation of an animé landmark.
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Okay, take a breather.
Phew! Got that out of my system. On to…
Part two, my favourite films of 2017. Click here.
Part three, my awards for the best films of 2017. Click here.
