WORST FILMS OF 2023 |
This article is a look at the worst films of 2023. |
I saw 372 films in 2023. So let us begin.
Part one of my review of 2023 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite movies of 2023, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
Part one of my review of 2023 commences with the most dreadful offerings. (To skip ahead to part two, my favourite movies of 2023, click here; and the awards for best films, click here.)
The bile out of the way first…
THE TOP 17 WORST FILMS OF 2023
17. MEG 2: THE TRENCH
Could’ve been B-movie monster thrills, but the narrative is so lazy and the mayhem set-pieces so poorly conceived.
16. TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, shame on me :D
15. ANYONE BUT YOU
A vortex of unoriginality. A movie that feels it is made up entirely of rom-com clichés. A wedding has the entire party focused on them not the nuptial couple. The two leads are wasted on this dross. Just the closing credits has something interesting and fun - if only that creative energy had been applied to the test of the film.
14. REBEL MOON: PART ONE
Apart from the cast diversity, this was appalling. I was embarrassed watching it. Lazy, incompetent, derivative. Zach Snyder is Michael Bay-levels of inept.
13. THE FLASH
Looks awful. Looks like it was shot in a warehouse with crummy CGI (bar the two Barrys). The plot is nonsense. Supergirl has no characterisation.
12. 65
Adam Driver crash lands on Earth 65 million years ago. He has to reach a lifeboat while avoiding dinosaurs. Not even rollicking B-movie adventure. So many underwhelming creative choices. Murky cinematography, underwhelming action, random sci-fi tech. Re-watch PITCH BLACK instead.
11. DIE HART
Kevin Hart is funny, but this runs out of steam quickly. Sporadic chortles aren’t enough, and the action sequences are so bad.
10. ASTEROID CITY
With THE FRENCH DISPATCH and ASTEROID CITY, the spell has been broken for me with Wes Anderson movies. These two are tired, twee, dull, verbose, and grating.
9. EVIL DEAD RISE
Substandard horror diluting the intellectual property. When loud, jagged music cues are used as a crutch, you know this is a dud. Murky cinematography doesn’t equal atmosphere, just makes things harder to discern. Plus, nonsensical “scares”.
8. CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET
Who asked for a sequel, especially a witless one? Tired slapstick and tinny dialogue. A couple of good gags highlights the rest.
7. AGENT
Generic title. Even worse spy flick. Painful.
6. JUNG_E
Imagine a terrible amalgam of I ROBOT, ELYSIUM, EDGE OF TOMORROW, and AI.
5. THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE
What an empty experience. Who is this aimed at? I doubt my 4-year old self world have been satisfied. Believe it or not, the Bob Hoskins 1993 movie is better, and that’s saying something. This isn’t in the same league as THE LEGO MOVIE.
4. HYPNOTIC
Just gibberish. Dire on nearly every level. The interminable score really hammered home how terrible this was. What was director Robert Rodriguez thinking?! The high of SIN CITY feels a long, long time ago.
3. INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY
Even worse than KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Just dreadful. Hard to believe this was the story and supporting parts chosen. A lousy experience. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character annoys. Mads Mikkelsen and Antonio Banderas are given no characterisation. Out of the five INDIANA JONESes, only two are good (RAIDERS and CRUSADE).
2. FULL RIVER RED
Convoluted political mystery that starts intriguingly, runs out of steam long before the finish, and concludes with dispiriting propaganda.
1. THE FABLEMANS
Along with ARMAGEDDON TIME and LICORICE PIZZA, this trio of reminiscent movies reek of self-indulgence and seem to lack self-awareness. With what this film concerns, why is there no mention of INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE DOOM, which hangs heavy over his body of work?
(By the way, some movies are so bad I turned them off way before the end, e.g. MARK ANTHONY, ONE TRUE LOVES, THE MOTHER.)
Okay, take a breather.
Phew! Got that out of my system. On to…
Part two, my favourite films of 2022. Click here.
Part three, my awards for the best films of 2022. Click here.